The beginning of a new journey

Today is the eve of the beginning of a era for me. For the past 10 years I have been married, tonight 12pm I will no longer be married. Tomorrow as of 12:01 I will consider myself single after 11 years.
It feels surreal. I use to be very upset and anxious about this date, but not anymore.

I see this as the beginning of a new journey. The opportunity for me to take my lessons learned and put them to particle use. I separated on Aug 12th 2009, I filed for a divorce Dec 2011, it is now June 27th 2012 and I am single. I have experienced disappointments, heart ache, discovery, growth, and change. I am so blessed to see myself though to the end as a journey that has led to another bend in the road.

My life is wonderful I have experienced my serious of unfortunate events but through it all I am so happy on the other side of this.

There were plenty of times when I was not sure if I could breath another moment. There were times when I was not sure how I would pay my bills to buy food, there were even more days when I just couldn't think. And then I took responsibility for my actions, my self, my behaviors and my lack of behaviors.

I stopped hurting when I stopped feeling hurt. I stopped waiting on my happiness and I went out and found it. Happiness is within my reach so I stretched until I reached it.

Every day is yes. I wake up and choose yes or no. I keep it simple, yes or no. 

Do I seek success or simply do what I love?

I saw a twitter post today by "Rich Cruse Photo ‏@Oprah Did you seek success or simply to do what you love?"


I thought this would be a wonderful conversation to have with myself. 


I use to do what I thought I needed to do. When I was younger I was told that I needed to have a job and go to work. It was explained to me that this was life. People went to high school, got a job preferably(think postal, military) a good job, worked and retired. 


I dare to think outside the box. I do not hold the idea of a job being the only way. I believe that to be neither truth or fact instead I see a job as one of an infinite about of choices to sustain oneself. 


I have worked my share of jobs, I have run my share of small business. I have found what I needed in them all. Now I know what I desire.


My desire is to be my own boss. I have to take the steps to do that. And then this question came to me.


"Do I seek success or simply do what I love?" My answer is both. 


I find success in seeking the things that I love.  Doing what I love is how I defined my success..
 #seekingsuccessinlove

Gaining new joy

I have to unpack my bags from my last journey before I can pack for a new one.
I want to have room and space to fill up with gifts and wonderful memories, I need space to do that.
To gain space I have to remove, throw away, discard anything that stands in my way.
Joy is found in happiness.
I do that which brings me joy, I have no need to apologie, that's why I don't.
Truth its a good thing

Live today

Today is yesterday's tomorrow. I find myself often getting caught up in yesterdays perceived failures and tomorrows challenges that I forget to just live.

recently I have decided that every day is the day.

Today is all I have. The future is a figment of my imagination and a reflection of my dreams. Today is the day for me to make those things reality. - me

HEAR VERSES LISTEN

I recently had I would describe as a heated verbal confrontation with a person in my life. The topic of the argument is not really relevant. What is relevant to me is the exchange and why it happened, but I have to also understand where others are coming from so here is my blather.

When I am communicating I have to recognize that I can make people feel uncomfortable due to my ability to listen and hear.

Listen-to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear.

to pay attention; heed; obey (often followed by to ): Children don't always listen to their parents.

Hear-to perceive by the ear: Didn't you hear the doorbell?

to listen with favor, assent, or compliance (often followed by of ): I will not hear of your going.

I find it incredibly hard to have a person tell me I am not listening to them. I live and work in a world that requires me to give a great amount of energy and time to listen and hear what is conveyed... What every your getting from me is my perception of what I am receiving. I am just conveying it back.. much like a reflection on a mirror.. Believe me I am not the only one that does this. What usually happens is that we mirror what we see and have no IDEA why we keep getting into the same or similar situations... Perhaps the person, place, situation is a reflection of you.

Change you and the reflection will change as well. In the end listen and hear is the point not verses..