Procrastination and Avoidance

I have come to learn that I use procrastination and avoidance as non verbal queues for no thank you and no.

My bedroom closet needs to be cleaned out, I am in the process of cleaning it out is what I say.. The truth is I am NOT making an effort to clean the closet because I don't want to. simple. I have other things I would rather do...
Write, read, listen to music, eat, sleep, cook, go for a walk or ride... I could go on and on but not clean. Then it came to me procrastination and avoidance were excuses and excuses are built from weakness and fears....

I must place my weakness and fears aside to gain what is really mine. Submission is doing what I know is right even when I dont want to and there is no one around to see...

What to do when life offers you what you want.

I have found that in life I wish for a lot of things and I was not always sure why I wanted the thing. As I have begun the process of simplifying my life I have taken more time to narrow down my desires which has helped to the noise in my head.

I am ok with being just a woman who is called, Wife, Mother, Helpmate, Student, Teacher, Friend, Business owner, a contributor to the society I live in. Nothing is impossible there are always probabilities that the things I want can be obtain with the proper motivation and determination.

As I have become clearer in my expectations its amazing how the universe has answered me. I have found that its not about waiting for the "thing" to happen its instead about acting as if that thing is already.

For example I desire to be a wife. My room was not conducive for a mate. If he showed up today he would not feel welcomed like I was expecting his arrival. I changed that. I have begun to make space for the King that is to reside in my life. I began this thought process BEFORE I have officially obtained Him.

My clothes and shoes are being moved to one side of the closet. A dresser is waiting for his things. He is welcomed. I expect the universe to answer and reward my ernest actions.

I am interested in gardening, self sufficient living, community activities on a grass root personal level, travel, food, family. I am the active driver of my life course.

Life it seems is giving me the opportunity I asked for. I am answering with YES..

Has life been knocking at your door, did you miss it? Rest assured your time will come again, mine has.

When life offers you want you want say Yes, thank you! Instead of tearing it to pieces trying to figure out if its "real".

The impossible into possible

I recently began to work out again. This is not my first time around this rodeo but it will be my last. I have finally changed my thoughts and now my actions can follow.

The epiphany that began a few weeks ago has continued in every aspect of my life.  My mind, body, and soul must all be in sync.

I know believe the impossible is possible.. And I believe that because I began the journey with the 5steps.

1. There is simply yes or no
2. I do less thinking more doing.
3. I have expectations for myself every day. I make a list of what I expect of myself, I hold myself accountable.
4. I mark every step and every achievement in writing.
5. I make no excuses.

And then it came to me!

Motivational coach/ speaker

Profound thanks

Action

The lack of Action is INaction. There is no middle group.

I am learning that to achieve my goal I must be moving and doing the thing I wish to achieve... Thinking is not action. Action is taking one step at a time and being able to show incremental changes.
To begin to make changes I must first have a destination, a journey without a destination for me never ends nor feels fulfilling. I know that this will be different for everyone but to know that I am moving I must be able to see and confirm increments of growth.

For me this begins with a journal. I keep a daily journal of my goals and then the next day I can check and see what I achieved. Instant gratification and instant correction.

How are you gauging your progress in your life journey?

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

 A wise man speaks because he has something to say; a fool because he has to say something.
Quoted in Des MacHale, Wisdom (London, 2002).

I use to  spend an extraordinary amount of my time worrying. At the time I called it planning and other such frivolous wording but for me in the end it was a lot of time wasted.

I was always analyzing yesterdays to have a better grasp on my tomorrows... I was forgetting my today's.

Recently I recognized that today is all that is important. Today is the opportunity I have been waiting for; the moment finally arriving. Now it is my pleasure to do.

A person told me that action is all that matters. Planning is not doing.. And now I realize because the absence of action is just inaction.. I can call it anything else I want to but inaction is just that... Planning is fine but action is best. Doing is my purpose. I can think and do at the same time. Thoughts and contemplation do not take long.. The doubt that I have of not succeeding is what takes long. Fear of the known coupled with the fears of the unknown. I have used my past mistakes while ignoring or perhaps not putting as much weight on my past triumphs.

Its all about my perception. I have done great things in my past, I will do great things in my future, but all of the actions begin in the today.

I put mySELF last so that I may become 1st.

I have a very selfish steak tucked away some where very deep and embedded inside of me. I truly believe that I am priceless and very important.I am not crazy nor am I naive.. I temper that statement with a addendum. I am priceless and very important to a FEW people in this world, and that is just fine with me. I only desire to hold value with many but to be considered priceless I only need a few, those I consider family.

I am learning that I lived in a place where most if not all of my actions were geared towards the gaining of a need I felt I had. Why I did this was because I felt that there was NO ONE ELSE to care for my needs. I was married 2 times and in both of those marriages I learned before I married them that I lacked trust in them to care for me how I needed to be cared for. I stayed because I was afraid of not having anything instead I settled for a bunch of things I did not need... Which is still not having anything..

I am grateful for the experiences in hindsight but it HURT.

How do I do better... I am listening to myself. That means when I feel a feeling lets say FEAR.. I address it instead of ignoring it. I ask my self a few questions

1. Why am I afraid
2. Will this thing I am afraid of hurt me physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually?
3. If the answer is yes to any of those questions then I ask HOW do I either minimize or eliminate the harm. We can not always eliminate a thing in our lives... But we can control and minimize the impact we allow it to have upon our existence.
4. It is either a YES or a NO.. If it is NOT a YES it is a NO...STOP complicating things.
5.  I Stop ASSUMING and take what is CLEARLY given, stated, or offered. (See #4) Its the old saying actions speak louder then words..

Very recently I came to see that I will have a man that has very high standards and expectations and for me to desire that man I must be willing to meet those expectations. In putting myself last by focusing on the needs of those I love I allow others around me to do the same.

What I am doing is being BRAVE.  I am allowing myself to be vulnerable. I am allowing myself to TRUST, I am allowing others around me to do the same. I am leading by example the behaviors I expect others to portray in my world.

 I am embracing the old sayings. Practice what you preach and Lead by example.

If it is my desire to have a husband and mate who is sacrificing by putting his wife and his children and family before himself shouldn't I be willing to meet his needs as well? Now before anyone argues the point of what if his needs are not your needs or some such other tangent let me state this disclaimer..

I would not enter into a relationship of marriage without having my core values meet. PERIOD there are some hard lines that I have learned are not negotiable.

Being 1st, the most valued, and priceless in some one's life is NOT negotiable. :)
Jami