I have come to learn that I use procrastination and avoidance as non verbal queues for no thank you and no.
My bedroom closet needs to be cleaned out, I am in the process of cleaning it out is what I say.. The truth is I am NOT making an effort to clean the closet because I don't want to. simple. I have other things I would rather do...
Write, read, listen to music, eat, sleep, cook, go for a walk or ride... I could go on and on but not clean. Then it came to me procrastination and avoidance were excuses and excuses are built from weakness and fears....
I must place my weakness and fears aside to gain what is really mine. Submission is doing what I know is right even when I dont want to and there is no one around to see...
Showing posts with label journey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journey. Show all posts
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Explanations are accepted excuses.
The more I spend simplifying my life and actions I find that I am so much clearer on my goals and expectations of self.
I live in a simple world I have created. Its called Simplicity. Its a place where In the absence of YES every thing else is NO. There is simplicity found in ANYthing other then Yes and its other synonyms being and equals no and all of its varying synonyms.
Once I was willing to accept yes and no I feel like there was a lot of weight lifted from my mind. I no longer had to guess and wonder what was being said. I simply listen for yes and no. Math became simpler to me. Why because for instance if I want to make increments of 5 there are only a few ways to do that. If I want to keep it simple all I have to remember is the combinations and if they are not present then the answer is no.
In dealing with people I am learning to listen carefully to what is being said. I don't always need explanations as they are just accepted ways of making excuses for no's. I am ok with simple yes or no. If there is additional explanations needed then ok but that is not always the case and I think I forgot that I have control of self and what emerges from my mouth and my emotions. I make decisions every moment of every day even if it is unconscious. I am actively becoming more away of my explanations and reasoning behind my actions and what I have found is that end the end they are all fear based excuses, no.
I will say this over and over again.
I have a 50/50 chance of Success/Acceptance/YES by simply asking/acting/doing. While if I do nothing I have a 100% chance of Failure/NO/Rejection.
When I make things this simple I cant not find any reason for me to not try. That is simple math you take the chance that affords you the higher odds.. I am simplifying my life with continued practice.
I have many desires and goals each one of them I am pursuing in some form or fashion if they are important. There is nothing between yes and no. There is nothing between off and on. There is nothing between action and inaction.
In love and life I choose YES. I do not allow mine or anyone elses explanations of accepted excuses stop me from my YES.
I live in a simple world I have created. Its called Simplicity. Its a place where In the absence of YES every thing else is NO. There is simplicity found in ANYthing other then Yes and its other synonyms being and equals no and all of its varying synonyms.
Once I was willing to accept yes and no I feel like there was a lot of weight lifted from my mind. I no longer had to guess and wonder what was being said. I simply listen for yes and no. Math became simpler to me. Why because for instance if I want to make increments of 5 there are only a few ways to do that. If I want to keep it simple all I have to remember is the combinations and if they are not present then the answer is no.
In dealing with people I am learning to listen carefully to what is being said. I don't always need explanations as they are just accepted ways of making excuses for no's. I am ok with simple yes or no. If there is additional explanations needed then ok but that is not always the case and I think I forgot that I have control of self and what emerges from my mouth and my emotions. I make decisions every moment of every day even if it is unconscious. I am actively becoming more away of my explanations and reasoning behind my actions and what I have found is that end the end they are all fear based excuses, no.
I will say this over and over again.
I have a 50/50 chance of Success/Acceptance/YES by simply asking/acting/doing. While if I do nothing I have a 100% chance of Failure/NO/Rejection.
When I make things this simple I cant not find any reason for me to not try. That is simple math you take the chance that affords you the higher odds.. I am simplifying my life with continued practice.
I have many desires and goals each one of them I am pursuing in some form or fashion if they are important. There is nothing between yes and no. There is nothing between off and on. There is nothing between action and inaction.
In love and life I choose YES. I do not allow mine or anyone elses explanations of accepted excuses stop me from my YES.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Special day..A new year
Today is my birthday. I am 34. When I was 24 I dreaded this day. It felt like 34 was 184. I am not sure why but 10 years ago today seemed like a huge difference Today I am 34 and I am so happy. Today I am single, divorced, a mother of 3, struggling financially, but insightful and peaceful.
I know me better then I have ever known myself. I am deeply aware of myself and it is both scary and exciting.
Breaking old habits and gaining new ones.
My love language (click the link take the test) is quality time. For the past week my dearest friends have showered me with the most important thing to me.. their time. I did not receive a monetary gift and I am SO content with that. What I have if far more important memories and time with them. I have talked, listened, shared, loved and connected with people that I love an respect. I have discovered yet another facet of me and it is great.
I have the capacity to heal, to learn endless, to grow, give, forgive, share, engage, evolve, achieve, rise, fall, and rise again. Life is a challenge and worth every moment!
Let the new year bring me joy, endless achievements, challenges and growth. I am ready!
I know me better then I have ever known myself. I am deeply aware of myself and it is both scary and exciting.
Breaking old habits and gaining new ones.
My love language (click the link take the test) is quality time. For the past week my dearest friends have showered me with the most important thing to me.. their time. I did not receive a monetary gift and I am SO content with that. What I have if far more important memories and time with them. I have talked, listened, shared, loved and connected with people that I love an respect. I have discovered yet another facet of me and it is great.
I have the capacity to heal, to learn endless, to grow, give, forgive, share, engage, evolve, achieve, rise, fall, and rise again. Life is a challenge and worth every moment!
Let the new year bring me joy, endless achievements, challenges and growth. I am ready!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
The beginning of a new journey
Today is the eve of the beginning of a era for me. For the past 10 years I have been married, tonight 12pm I will no longer be married. Tomorrow as of 12:01 I will consider myself single after 11 years.
It feels surreal. I use to be very upset and anxious about this date, but not anymore.
I see this as the beginning of a new journey. The opportunity for me to take my lessons learned and put them to particle use. I separated on Aug 12th 2009, I filed for a divorce Dec 2011, it is now June 27th 2012 and I am single. I have experienced disappointments, heart ache, discovery, growth, and change. I am so blessed to see myself though to the end as a journey that has led to another bend in the road.
My life is wonderful I have experienced my serious of unfortunate events but through it all I am so happy on the other side of this.
There were plenty of times when I was not sure if I could breath another moment. There were times when I was not sure how I would pay my bills to buy food, there were even more days when I just couldn't think. And then I took responsibility for my actions, my self, my behaviors and my lack of behaviors.
I stopped hurting when I stopped feeling hurt. I stopped waiting on my happiness and I went out and found it. Happiness is within my reach so I stretched until I reached it.
Every day is yes. I wake up and choose yes or no. I keep it simple, yes or no.
It feels surreal. I use to be very upset and anxious about this date, but not anymore.
I see this as the beginning of a new journey. The opportunity for me to take my lessons learned and put them to particle use. I separated on Aug 12th 2009, I filed for a divorce Dec 2011, it is now June 27th 2012 and I am single. I have experienced disappointments, heart ache, discovery, growth, and change. I am so blessed to see myself though to the end as a journey that has led to another bend in the road.
My life is wonderful I have experienced my serious of unfortunate events but through it all I am so happy on the other side of this.
There were plenty of times when I was not sure if I could breath another moment. There were times when I was not sure how I would pay my bills to buy food, there were even more days when I just couldn't think. And then I took responsibility for my actions, my self, my behaviors and my lack of behaviors.
I stopped hurting when I stopped feeling hurt. I stopped waiting on my happiness and I went out and found it. Happiness is within my reach so I stretched until I reached it.
Every day is yes. I wake up and choose yes or no. I keep it simple, yes or no.
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