Special day..A new year

Today is my birthday. I am 34. When I was 24 I dreaded this day. It felt like 34 was 184. I am not sure why but 10 years ago today seemed like a huge difference Today I am 34 and I am so happy. Today I am single, divorced, a mother of 3, struggling financially, but insightful and peaceful.

I know me better then I have ever known myself. I am deeply aware of myself and it is both scary and exciting.

Breaking old habits and gaining new ones.

My love language (click the link take the test) is quality time. For the past week my dearest friends have showered me with the most important thing to me.. their time. I did not receive a monetary gift and I am SO content with that. What I have if far more important memories and time with them. I have talked, listened, shared, loved and connected with people that I love an respect. I have discovered yet another facet of me and it is great.

I have the capacity to heal, to learn endless, to grow, give, forgive, share, engage, evolve, achieve, rise, fall, and rise again. Life is a challenge and worth every moment!

Let the new year bring me joy, endless achievements, challenges and growth. I am ready!

"Expectation is the root of all heartache" WS.. Or so he said

"Expectation is the root of all heartache" WS


I read this quote a while ago and I was a bit ambivalent about it.


I guess a part of me didn't understand it at first. My thought process began with I have expectations for myself! If I don't have expectations how do I achieve goals?


Then I began to pounder what is the difference between goals and expectations?

• A goal is- the result or achievement toward which effort is directed;aim; end.

• Expectation is - the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.

Then I realized I need to spend more time mastering the english language. I have a problem communicating because I often do not understand exactly what is being said. 


Expectation is the root of all heartaches. Why because the act of looking forward to or anticipation is not going to help me achieve anything. Hard work, the grind, the failures, the dedication, getting back up. That is what moves me. So I finally understand the quote.

Gaining new joy

I have to unpack my bags from my last journey before I can pack for a new one.
I want to have room and space to fill up with gifts and wonderful memories, I need space to do that.
To gain space I have to remove, throw away, discard anything that stands in my way.
Joy is found in happiness.
I do that which brings me joy, I have no need to apologie, that's why I don't.
Truth its a good thing

Live today

Today is yesterday's tomorrow. I find myself often getting caught up in yesterdays perceived failures and tomorrows challenges that I forget to just live.

recently I have decided that every day is the day.

Today is all I have. The future is a figment of my imagination and a reflection of my dreams. Today is the day for me to make those things reality. - me

HEAR VERSES LISTEN

I recently had I would describe as a heated verbal confrontation with a person in my life. The topic of the argument is not really relevant. What is relevant to me is the exchange and why it happened, but I have to also understand where others are coming from so here is my blather.

When I am communicating I have to recognize that I can make people feel uncomfortable due to my ability to listen and hear.

Listen-to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear.

to pay attention; heed; obey (often followed by to ): Children don't always listen to their parents.

Hear-to perceive by the ear: Didn't you hear the doorbell?

to listen with favor, assent, or compliance (often followed by of ): I will not hear of your going.

I find it incredibly hard to have a person tell me I am not listening to them. I live and work in a world that requires me to give a great amount of energy and time to listen and hear what is conveyed... What every your getting from me is my perception of what I am receiving. I am just conveying it back.. much like a reflection on a mirror.. Believe me I am not the only one that does this. What usually happens is that we mirror what we see and have no IDEA why we keep getting into the same or similar situations... Perhaps the person, place, situation is a reflection of you.

Change you and the reflection will change as well. In the end listen and hear is the point not verses..