Relationship Killers

I was on twitter a few days ago and I read the following.. I had to write about it.

Ted. ‏@HiIariousTed

"Relationship Killers: Insecurity, Trust Issues, Facebook, Twitter, Jealousy, Lack Of Communication, Assumptions, HOES"


Insecurity- is a killer because it shows the world that you don't trust yourself. If you do not trust, accept, love, you how can another? There is a difference between being uncertain and being insecure. People (but really to my other ladies) no man or woman wants to hear how you think your ugly often and yes often is once a day or even once a week in your words or actions. Who wants to be with a person that is subject to fear, lacks self confidence, who is exposed and liable to risk loss or danger, not firmly or reliable placed... I don't!

Trust issues- Unpack your suitcase before you being another journey. Trust is a 2 way street. Learn to be trust worthy and then you can trust.

Facebook- Is not your diary, Not a fantasy world and is not for you to destroy your life over. If a thing cause you great pain and you don't like it why do it? Facebook is not to air all your personal business and secrets and then tell others to mind they business... Um we are you are on the news feed lol.  It is a social site and it is not private. PLEASE remember that! Writer with caution

Twitter- Ditto above.

Jealousy- Has no place in any relationship you hope to cultivate. Period. First because in a loving committed relationship no one should be rivals.. I should not feel guarded, have a suspicion or fear, and I should not be upset over another person successes..

Lack of Communication- Facebook and Twitter, blogs, social media sites, are not and should not be your main form of communication in your relationships. Communication is not yelling, cursing, demanding, threatening, verbal abuse, verbal black mail, silence, a cold shoulder.

Assumptions-  The 4 Agreements say it far better then I ever could

' Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life." don Miguel Ruiz

Hoes- Well nuff said right? If you are the hoe, if you around hoes, if you looking for hoes, if you run into hoes.. ALL BAD. A hoe is considered a hoe because she has no value not because of what she does in my opinion. Consider that.. 

And I will add the last one. learn to hear and listen.. We want to be listened to and heard practice and you will become a master. 

HEAR VERSES LISTEN

I recently had I would describe as a heated verbal confrontation with a person in my life. The topic of the argument is not really relevant. What is relevant to me is the exchange and why it happened, but I have to also understand where others are coming from so here is my blather.

When I am communicating I have to recognize that I can make people feel uncomfortable due to my ability to listen and hear.

Listen-to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear.

to pay attention; heed; obey (often followed by to ): Children don't always listen to their parents.

Hear-to perceive by the ear: Didn't you hear the doorbell?

to listen with favor, assent, or compliance (often followed by of ): I will not hear of your going.

I find it incredibly hard to have a person tell me I am not listening to them. I live and work in a world that requires me to give a great amount of energy and time to listen and hear what is conveyed... What every your getting from me is my perception of what I am receiving. I am just conveying it back.. much like a reflection on a mirror.. Believe me I am not the only one that does this. What usually happens is that we mirror what we see and have no IDEA why we keep getting into the same or similar situations... Perhaps the person, place, situation is a reflection of you.

Change you and the reflection will change as well. In the end listen and hear is the point not verses..